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 Funny Quotes

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DeViLbOy
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PostSubject: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:43 am

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
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DeViLbOy
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:43 am

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:43 am

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:43 am

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:43 am

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ..
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:43 am

Yes time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 am

You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 am

Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 am

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 am

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'Y'.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 am

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 am

Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 am

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 am

told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 am

Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:44 am

They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:45 am

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:45 am

Were going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:45 am

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:45 am

When more and more people are thrown out of work unemployment results.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:45 am

It's like deja vu all over again.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:45 am

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:45 am

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:45 am

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:46 am

A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.
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