Funny Quotes

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its written on.

Half this game is ninety percent mental

Half this game is ninety percent mental

Half this game is ninety percent mental

Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!

When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.

Only two things are necessary to keep ones wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

great quate i will write it)))
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I can only trust the attorney general...